I am in a place that is outside of my preferences.
I teach about the spot of something true that is not our preference, about the discomfort when we are confronted with this reality and the importance of learning to sit in it as long as it takes.
And, it is another thing when you are deep in the teaching.
As most of you know, I strongly disagree with the truism of “write from the scar and not the wound”. We are already conditioned to be perfect, shiny humans who never show our challenges or lessons - especially (gasp!) not when we are in the middle of it. Social media and the way we present (especially those of us who are teachers, guides, coaches, healers, etc.) pressures us to share only if we are fully through it, to only open up when it isn’t so close to us, to only disclose the deepest lessons we traverse once there is some distance. I don’t know about you, but when I see someone who only writes from the outcome and not the process, I feel a lack of authenticity and a flavor of performance that doesn’t feel embodied.
I try to choose vulnerability and transparency every time. It isn’t always easy, but some of the most beautiful medicine is when we share our process. The teachings that aren’t from the “finish line” are more potent than once they are wrapped in a bow, once there is distance from the sensation, once there are written from the mind and not from the body.
So here I am, in a spot where parts of me are thrashing. Where they want things to be different than what they are. Not from a Veruca Salt place, but from a place of desire for my life to be a certain way.
And, sometimes we are thrown into the unknown, without the comforts of preference, without having things “just right”, without knowing exactly what is going to happen.
This place is often one that people run away from - through denial, bypassing, or numbing out. This spot is one where it can be so easy to put your preferences above the truth, to choose to swim upstream against the divinity that is in front of us.
Most people aren’t able to sit in discomfort of any kind, to do what they call in chess “holding the tension”. Our minds want things to be black and white - the grey is much more difficult to be with. If we can’t hold much in our nervous systems, we will always be going against the flow so that we feel a “guarantee” of “security”. I put those words in quotes because of course, there is no guarantee of anything and there is no certainty of security.
This is a spot where I could settle for less, where I could choose to fight for something that would make me feel more confortable even though it isn’t the true thing.
Instead, my practice is to fully surrender. Into the deep waters of the ocean, trusting that the waters will eventually calm and handing over how and when it will arrive.
It is a constant practice. These places of the leap are some of the hardest but most healing. When we fully let go of the plan we had for our life, we allow the plan God has for us to flow through us.
An invitation:
Find a place where you are gripping to a preference. It can be something as small as what you want to eat for dinner or as big as what you want your partner to be like.
Take a deep breath and imagine that you couldn’t have it “your way”. That it went an entirely different direction, one you didn’t expect (and advanced practice, one you don’t like).
Sit with the sensations that arise. How does your body feel? What thoughts are running through your head? How does your spirit react to this shift?
Raise your hands above your head, palms open. Lean into the surrender that is available to you in this spot. Breathe into the bigger plan, the bigger thing, the Mystery that we cannot ever know.
“The way is to climb. The way is to lie still. And let the moon do Its work on your body.” - Snow Leopard by Shearwater
As an acoustic ecologist, I am forever in love with the field recordings of others. This compilation of the sounds of 2022 is stunning. Give yourself an hour to rest, walk, cook and enjoy the natural landscape from all over the world.
Land art by James Brunt
Also….
looking out to a valley filled with fog. resting on the couch with three animals sleeping as close to you as possible. homemade yogurt. reading a book by the fire. watching the 10th season of Letterkenny. doing a project just for fun. the crispness of cold air. having a phone again. not using the phone very much. friends who support my work. pajamas straight out of the dryer. the comedy of the limbo. the sweetness of trust.
No one is coming to save you.
No one will nourish your body, calm your mind, and tend to your spirit but yourself.
The work of healing is no magic bullet. No pill to make everything better, no one-and-done workshop to gain embodied understanding.
Nourishment is a slow practice. A simmer in the background of everything we do.
The way we wake up, the attention we put into our food, our approach to technology, to water, to light.
We are always invited into a deeper practice of caring for the self. Beyond a detox, a supplement, a diet plan.
And into an entirely new way of communing with our bodies and with the Earth.
NOURISH: A HEALING JOURNEY INTO ANCESTRAL LIVING
This journey is a deep one - transcending modalities and specialities and is a vast body of work.
We will dive into:
ancestral nutrition
herbal medicine + building your home apothecary
metabolic + reproductive health
fermentation, curing, + preserving
the science of living water
EMF remediation
bodywork for the self
healing the microbiome
and much more.
Each month in this membership focuses on one of these ancestral threads, helping us return to more traditional ways of nourishment, of connection to the earth, and of living a slower, wilder life.
I welcome all genders, levels of ancestral living experience, and dietary lifestyles. This work is beyond what you learn in a workshop, what you read on the internet, or what you learn in podcasts. To really embody the practice of full nourishment, you have to dive in deeply and show up in practice over time.
Every month we will have:
One gathering for teaching + coaching
One hands-on gathering for practice - such as cooking classes, medicine making, wilderness skills
One embodiment journey of movement + breath
The journey is $111 a month and there is a 6 month minimum for the work so that the experience is gentle and spacious. There is no rush to the return of ancestral ways. There is no forcing our healing. There is only showing up on the mat and opening to the fullness of our wild animal body.
You can find out more (on my beautiful page!) and sign up HERE.
We begin 3/1
HYDRATION DADDY: SEXY REMINDERS TO DRINK YOUR WATER
Hey there, do you drink enough water? Need a reminder to quench your thirst? Want your body to feel luscious?
Don’t worry, Hydration Daddy is here to help.
I will send you hot and cheeky texts to remind you to hydrate.
Nourish your body in a fun way.
HYDRATION DADDY is a monthly subscription where you are sent sexy reminders to hydrate yourself.
One of my favorite things about life is being an artist. And the beautiful thing is, I can be of service in so many creative ways.
In all seriousness, those who know me and have worked with me know how seriously I take the science of living water. In other realms of my work, we go into the importance of drinking raw water, pitfalls of popular “filtration” systems, and the importance of remineralizing and recharging your water.
But here … well, this just gets to be fun. And a bit kinky.
It is only $5 a month and you can cancel at any time.
Life is short, why not get a little weird with it?
You can find out more and sign up HERE. Or Venmo me @binyamina
A blessing: may you gather knowledge with humility and hope
Blessings,
Binyamina Aisha