Hello new subscribers! Welcome to my little corner where I run barefoot howling at the moon, talk about archetypes and art, share my reflections as a naturalist, find you wonderful and weird things from the internet, and beam all the love I can. Some writings you may be interested in are: Outside the Preference, The Medicine We Carry, and The Paradox of Choice Thank you for joining me here ❤️
Lately I’ve been thinking about how we turn away from the mystery. In ways big and small, our incessant need to KNOW gets in the way of dancing in the liminal space. At each step of the way, we are conditioned, encouraged, and tempted to make meaning of the sometimes intangible. The discomfort we feel in confusion, impatience, and irritation is often bypassed by trying to jump ahead and know the answer.
I recently had a great reminder of this as I was reading The Water Cure. I’ve written about this book before but in case you missed it, it is a fever dream. A strange story on a strange island with strange characters. It is considered part of what they call the “weird girl” genre, and its charm is that you never know exactly what is going on.
I was really enjoying the book. After being in a reading slump for a few months, I found myself in that sweet spot that avid readers are familiar with. The “I don’t want to go to bed yet even though it is late because I can’t stop reading this book!” place. It was captivating, immersive, eerie. And I couldn’t wait to see what would unfold.
But then something happened. I found myself in a bit of a confusing spot of the book. What sometimes is referred to as a “knot” in literature, often a place where things don’t match up. A place where there might be a plot hole, or a thread of the story that hasn’t been quite fleshed out yet.
And instead of being with the discomfort of it not making sense…
I looked it up on the internet.
I googled an aspect of the story that I didn’t understand and what I got was the absolute biggest spoiler (and plot twist) imaginable. In an instant, I tried to close out the tab but the damage had already been done. I let my impatience for knowing get in the way of the magic of the mystery.
One of the reasons we love fiction is that it can transport us to completely different worlds. And those worlds do not need to make sense. We don’t need to figure it out - we can simply be in the imagination of another and be grateful for the possibility it brings.
And the same goes for life. We are playing a game that we don’t know the ending of. Most of the time, we don’t even know the rules - in fact, probably aren’t any dependable rules at all!
In life, we are asked to hand it over again and again.
Hand over our agendas.
Hand over our preferences.
Hand over our hubris.
Hand over our neurosis.
Hand over our need to control every little part of our path.
Living life fully is a leap of faith. A lesson is trust. A surrender to whatever happens next. This doesn’t mean we don’t have choice and control over certain things. It does mean, however, that there is so much on the path ahead that we can’t yet see. And instead of trying to make meaning of it, sometimes we need to simply be in the “arms to the sky” pose of trusting what comes next.
This will trigger you. It will bring up all of your ego’s preferences. It will tempt your panic, your entitlement, your resentment, and your arrogance. It will trigger the places in you that want everything to go your way, to make certain that your agenda gets fulfilled.
And no matter what we say, we all have an agenda.
Can we step aside and allow the mystery to unfold?
Can we humble ourselves and admit that we don’t know the best way forward?
Can we trust that the medicine that is meant for us will present itself?
An Invitation:
Think of something that you have an agenda. It can be well-intentioned, such as having a baby or being in a relationship. It can also be more complex. It should be something that has a lot of charge for you - something that you are actively working towards or working hard to keep.
Envision if the opposite happened. What if the relationship ended, the job fell through, the move to your dream place never happened. Allow yourself to fully “play the tape”. Explore how it feels to truly be with the felt sense of it not coming to fruition.
Notice what sensations, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions arise. It might be confusion, panic, anger - all are welcome.
Simply shine compassion upon what comes to the surface. There is no need to change or fix anything. Allow them to be there and realize that it isn’t the end of the world. You didn’t die, it wasn’t unbearable. Acknowledge that it is possible to have nothing you wanted while still surviving.
What I’ve been listening to…
Lately I have been revisiting a lot of Afro-funk/jazz and one of my favorites is the Cameroonian artist Manu Dibango. His music isn’t for everyone - often dissonant and forcing you to stay in a place of tension - but it is so rich and is a great example of bringing ancestral melody and rhythm to a newer genre of music. He died from Covid in 2020 but I was lucky enough to see him play many years ago and it still fills my heart with joy.
What I’ve been reading…
I’ve started Cloud Cuckoo Land and I don’t even know what to say. I love strange stories that are interwoven throughout time and space and that is exactly what it is. I haven’t read much of it yet but I am really enjoying it. 15th century Constantinople, a small town in Idaho, and a spaceship all weave together and I am flying.
What I’ve been watching…
Rough times call for relaxing television. I have recently returned to watching Bob Ross because he could do no wrong and always brings me so much peace and joy. He believes in each of us as an artist! There are no such thing as mistakes! He wants us to most importantly have fun! If you are feeling stressed or in despair (aren’t we all right now?), take a few minutes to be in a happy place.
Also!
licorice tea. the smell of evergreens. the feeling of my hair touching my lower back. raw milk. deep belly breaths. teaching about psychedelics and dying. electrolytes. getting a new notebook to make new plans. FaceTiming with my cat. cold showers. hot showers. clean water on demand. the two old men I saw smoking a joint who said “oops, we got caught!”. making a flower playlist for my flower essence practitioner training. finding new podcasts that are amazing. sunrise. sunset. opening my eyes and feeling so deeply grateful to be alive.
BUG OUT BAG PREPAREDNESS CLASS!
Are you prepared when sh*t hits the fan? Once a year, I offer a class to help people create their own Bug Out Bag and know how to use it. This isn’t just for natural disasters, this is for everyone who wants more autonomy and peace of mind.
What is a Bug Out Bag? It is a pack filled with what is required to survive for at least 72 hours. There are many ways to create a Bug Out Bag and they can be customized to you.
You will learn:
Bug Out Bag basics. This covers the fundamental pieces that every bag should have such as food, water, tools, and first aid.
How to create a Bug Out Bag on a budget. Through repurposing household items and knowing where to shop, anyone can make a bag affordably and easily.
Building various levels of Bug Out Bags. From a basic kit, to an advanced prepper set-up, you will make a bag that fits your needs and limitations. You will also learn how to customize your bag for different situations like urban evacuations and wilderness survival.
I am an unabashed prepper! I have decades of wilderness survival skills education and experience and supporting people in this realm brings me so much joy. This class will also include a private online space where you can ask me any questions about Bug Out Bags or anytthing else related to preparedness and survival. I am keeping this workshop really affordable because I want preparedness to be as accessible as possible.
This class isn’t just for people living in extreme weather zones. Of course, if you live in an area with fires, earthquakes, floods, storms, tornados, or hurricanes - you NEED to be at this class. But guess what? We all live in a world where everyone needs to be prepared - whether you live in the mountains in bear country, or in downtown New York City. Power outages, civil unrest, personal emergencies, and yes even the zombie apocalypse can happen anytime!
As they say, the best time to prepare was yesterday. The next best time is now.
Let’s do this!
June 23 2PM PST - SIGN UP BELOW
ARCANA: An alchemical journey through the archetypes of the tarot
ARCANA is a magical path of exploration of the major arcana of the tarot. Seen as the foundation of the tarot, the major arcana is where the power of the archetypes live.
Through diving in deeply to each of the cards - their stories, their planets, the creative and cultural forces which create their medicine - you will excavate the richness beneath these figures and symbols.
I lead this journey through a Jungian lens of archetype: astrology, stones and plants of the cards, mythology, creative practice, and embodiment. This will open your eyes to an entire new world with the tarot.
This is not a program on the predictive aspects of the tarot, nor is it a cookie cutter textbook of the cards.
This is a FULL BODY EXPLORATION of the archetypes. How can you see them as a mirror of yourself? How can experience alchemical healing through the mysteries of the cards? How can the energetics of the major arcana support our creative practice, our relationships, our spirituality, and our way of being in the world?
This is a wild and weird journey. Immersive in every sense of the word, with real-life assignments to embody the potency of these universal beings. It will be a fun, expansive, and nourishing path. And you will leave ARCANA with the deepest wisdom of the archetypes, the stars, the plants, and yourself.
Everyone from beginners to advanced tarot practitioners are welcome. I have been a tarot practitioner and educator for 20 years and there is nothing else like this journey.
ARCANA is a three month pilgrimage through the tarot and will meet every Sunday. We begin July 21 and you can sign up for the waiting list below!
And guess what? Something BIG is on the way. I will be dropping it soon but it will be the main piece of my work for this upcoming year so stay tuned!
A blessing: may you be able to sit in the discomfort of imperfection
Xoxo Binyamina Aisha